When I think of love as something new (Troisbang #2 Part Two)

[qiguai]

(previous)





IV.

The debut date is set for a little over a month, and rapidly their daily schedules fill up with dance rehearsals, costume fittings, photoshoots and countless other small tasks to prepare. Jinchul mind is swirling with dates and times and deadlines, and though their managers tell him he doesn't need to keep track of it all, he does. He can't help it, because in his opinion if he's really going to be a leader of a group, he should be able to handle this much. At first, he is able to handle it, and then it all becomes way too much thanks to one person who at the moment is locked in the bathroom, having moved on from the bedroom after locking himself there three nights in a row.

"Manager-hyung needs to pee!" Yejun shouts at the door. He gave up on being patient and gentle around the time Younghak chucked a shoe at him the day before. The truth is the manager is nowhere to be seen, having left a few hours ago to buy some groceries and probably hiding out in an internet cafe for as long as he can.

Jinchul looks to Seunghyun, who's sitting on the couch and channel-surfing with a sour expression. "You going to help us out?" he asks, but Seunghyun shakes his head and doesn't even bother looking.

"You can humor him all you want, but I'm not wasting my time." Jinchul rubs his face and leans on the back of the couch. Seunghyun looks up at him and frowns. "If he wants to be a brat, let him. Why should we coddle him?"

From his position at the bathroom door, Yejun gives up and and makes his way to the couch. "He has a point," he says to Jinchul.

"You're not helping!" Jinchul snaps. With a sharp glare, Yejun huffs and stomps into the bedroom. Seunghyun turns off the television, patting Jinchul on the leg. "I really don't understand how you can be so calm about this," Jinchul says incredulously. "How the hell could you not tell him?"

Seunghyun blinks. "About us? It was none of his business," he answers simply. "You didn't tell him either, and he was your friend first." Jinchul can't argue with that and chews on his lip instead. "Besides, I knew I couldn't count on him not to freak out about it." He looks up with a smile. "He's not exactly a rational creature like you or Yejun, y'know?"

"True," he chuckles, smiling for the first time in a while. As things have been getting busier, he's come to rely more and more on Seunghyun for help, and he can't help but feel a little frustrated that this one time Seunghyun is utterly unwilling to do anything. "What should I do?" he asks and doesn't expect an answer.

Surprisingly, Seunghyun answers right away. "You and Younghak need to work out whatever ancient, pent-up sexual frustration you've got going on." There's a little bit of amusement in his voice, but otherwise he's completely serious. Jinchul chokes on his saliva.

"Sexual what?" he practically spits, grabbing Seunghyun by the shoulders. "Listen, we don't have anything like that."

"That's not what Yejun tells me, and I've noticed it, too," Seunghyun replies. Jinchul rubs his tumbles and sinks onto the couch next to Seunghyun. "Admit it, it's weird between you two. You're both fine around me and Yejun separately, but the second you two are together it's like a battle of testosterone or something."

Jinchul doesn't argue, but doesn't want to think about it. "I'm sorry, but I can't help you," Seunghyun continues. "This is something between the two of you."




At first he tries to ignore Seunghyun's advice, but despite his best efforts, he can't help but dwell on it. Constantly. Little things start to stick out in his memory, like how Younghak always either hovered around Yejun when Jinchul was around or left them completely alone. It was also truth that Jinchul never even considered telling Younghak about him and Seunghyun, because he couldn't imagine having such an awkward conversation. It's not like he ever had to do something similar in high school since Younghak had conveniently seen him and Yejun kiss right away. Come to think of it, he and Younghak never really spent time alone together. Why the hell hadn't he noticed this?

Meanwhile, whatever bond the group had continues to deteriorate. Younghak is speaking to no one and practices are torture. The choreographers are frustrated that Younghak can't seem to get anything right when he's supposedly the best dancer, and Younghak is even more frustrated with himself and taking it out on everything around him. Somehow since the night in the bathroom Yejun has managed to get in his good graces, but that means the two spend their nights locked in the bedroom talking. With a slight pang of jealousy Jinchul sure hopes that they're really talking, but he doesn't have time to think like that now.

Then again, the feeling makes him realize that maybe they've had this coming for months, even years, and they only have a month left before they put everything on the line.




He walks into the practice room and heads straight for Seunghyun, pulling him to the side. Over Seunghyun's shoulder he spies Younghak watching them with narrowed eyes and a disgusted frown. "I have a plan," he says with a grin and Seunghyun smiles back. "But I'll need your help." He tells Seunghyun the plan and Seunghyun laughs.

"See, this is why you're the leader." He trots off and grabs Yejun, Younghak immediately walking away, to fill him in. Jinchul feels just a bit of pride at that and prepares for a long day of practice. He knows he should probably tell someone about his plan, but he also knows that no producer or manger would ever to agree to something as strange as this. He's thankful for the cash he's been saving up for no reason in particular and calls the hotel before practice and reserves a room under his name. As the choreographer stares them down one by one, Jinchul thinks that, for once, this might be the easy part of his day.

As predicted, Younghak tries to catch up to Yejun directly after practice, but, as planned, Seunghyun intercepts the tower of a boy, who looks more frightened than angry when Seunghyun insists on walking together for a bit. Yejun jogs up to walk alongside Jinchul and winks. They can hear Seunghyun chattering away to Younghak as they step out of the door and turn to walk in the opposite direction of their dorm towards a small, cheap hotel a few blocks down. Jinchul mentally crosses his fingers that he hasn't underestimated Seunghyun's powers of persuasion.

The uniformed woman working in the lobby is more than a little confused when Jinchul and Yejun come in and receive their keys. Her confusion only worsens when he says to her casually, "We're expecting two of our friends in the next half hour or so. One is really tall and dumb-looking, and the other should be leading him." She nods automatically as they breeze past the desk to the elevators.

The room is small, but that's what Jinchul had been hoping. Yejun complains a bit, but Jinchul isn't listening, and after a few minutes the youngest falls onto the bed and takes a nap. The waiting game begins.

Exactly seventeen minutes and twenty seconds later- Jinchul knows because he's been counting since taking a seat on the edge of the stiff double bed- the hotel door clicks open and Younghak stumbles through backward. Seunghyun follows after with his same angelic smile. Younghak notices the other two immediately and looks anything but pleased. He tries to rush past Seunghyun, but the smaller boy is surprisingly strong as he shoves him back into the room and closes the door behind them. Yejun sits up on the bed and rubs his eyes; apparently his attempt at a nap was successful. Skipping around the bed, Seunghyun plops down next to Yejun and stretches out across his legs.

Gathering his wits, Jinchul gets to his feet and looks directly at Younghak, who flinches. "In case you can't tell, you're stuck here," he begins firmly, smiling despite himself. Looking back at the others briefly, he adds, "And we're not leaving until everything is settled."




Three hours into the ordeal, and Younghak is locked in the bathroom, which in his distraction Jinchul had completely forgot to factor into his plan. Worse, he's refusing to let anyone in, not even Yejun, who's been branded a traitor and who couldn't care less. Seunghyun tries once, but Younghak doesn't even answer his questions through the door. The result is that Yejun and Seunghyun end up curled up on the bed fast asleep while Jinchul continues a very pointless conversation with the thin wooden door.

Five hours into the plan, Jinchul fetches delivered Chinese food from the lobby and manages to avoid the receptionist as she continues to stare at him. He enters to room to find Seunghyun frowning at his cell phone and Yejun frowning at the ceiling. Seunghyun sets his cell to the side and greedily watches Jinchul set out the food.

"The shit's hitting the fan," he says casually. Jinchul nods and suddenly feels nauseous, so he lets Yejun and Seunghyun at the food first. He knocks at the bathroom door.

"Dinner's here," he calls, but gets no answer. "We'll save you some anyway." Returning to the bed, Seunghyun is lying across Yejun's stomach, who is using Seunghyun's back as a resting spot for his Chinese carton. Their unaffected and relaxed behavior makes him smile a little; there's something very comforting about the entire scene. As he sits at the edge of the bed, Seunghyun holds out his carton of spicy beef with a childlike innocence. Yejun seems to consider offering his food as well, but decides against it and stuffs a large piece of broccoli into his mouth.

Five and a half hours into the plan, all of their cell phone's are going off every five minutes and they finally resolve to turn them all off. Around the same time, Younghak chooses to crawl out of his sanctuary, holding his stomach and biting his lip as he glances between his friends and the food.

"Just eat," Jinchul urges him gently. With shuffling feet, Younghak pads over to the table of food and takes a seat. Yejun slides out from under Seunghyun to lean over Younghak's shoulder and steal bites from him, Younghak's carton the only food Yejun hasn't tasted yet. Younghak pokes him in the cheek with his chopstick but doesn't hesitate to shove a piece of chicken into his mouth with a smirk. He pauses when Seunghyun crawls to the edge of the bed and opens his mouth, too, but only for a minute. Meanwhile Jinchul watches them between mouthfuls of steamed rice.

Once his stomach is full, Seunghyun is able to coax Younghak over to the bed with the rest of them. He instinctively wraps his arms around Seunghyun's torso and rests his head on Seunghyun's shoulder, glaring at Jinchul as if in challenge. Yejun stretches out across the other side of the bed and starts to doze.

"What do I have to do, Younghak?" Jinchul asks, clasping and unclasping his hands. "You understand the situation now, don't you?"

"And that the situation isn't going to change," Seunghyun adds, eying Younghak over his shoulder. Younghak opens his mouth to argue, but Seunghyun continues before he can. "You're being a spoiled brat, you know that." He catches Younghak arms and holds them firmly in place when Younghak tries to let go and run away.

"How the hell am I a brat?" he mutters. Yejun starts to laugh quietly, shaking the bed, and this only makes Younghak more upset. Yejun rolls over and locks eyes with his best friend.

"You've always been a brat," he says flatly. "Let me ask you this: how is what's going on between you, Seunghyun-hyung and Jinchul-hyung any different from you, Jinchul-hyung and me?"

His arms tighten around Seunghyun's waist. "It's different."

"I don't think so," Seunghyun scoffs, but pats Younghaks hands. With a burst of a smile, Seunghyun twists around to look Younghak in the face. "I have an idea- watch." He turns back around. "Yejun, come here." Yejun obeys and flops across the bed, not resisting when Seunghyun takes his face in his hands. "I know this isn't exactly the same, but at least we're even." With that, he kisses Yejun square on the lips, breaking away with a satisfied smile. "Now," he says. "You two."

Jinchul realizes that Suenghyun is staring at him, and with horror realizes that by "you two," he means Younghak and himself. Younghak meets Jinchul's gaze with sheer terror. "Us?" he asks and his voice breaks.

"This way we're even," Seunghyun repeats with all the solemnity of a court judge declaring his verdict. "Of course, there is another option," he adds quickly with a wicked grin.

"Whatever it is, I'll do it," Younghak answers, shaking Seunghyun a little in his arms. "What is it?" Seunghyun's grin grows and Jinchul gulps in fear.

"Accept things for what they are," he explains. Despite his grin, there's something pleading about his voice. "Accept that not everything can be perfect like the movies, Younghak-ah." Younghak stares at him with pain in his eyes and squeezes his waist a little harder.

For the first time in weeks, Jinchul is able to completely relax, even if it does take another hour to get Younghak to agree. In the end, Seunghyun gives his father a call and makes up some excuse for their disappearance, and at the insistence of Yejun, Jinchul and Younghak are locked in the bathroom for the night. "To dispel anymore awkwardness," he explains, but his smirk tells of his true intentions. What no one knows is that the next morning, Jinchul awakens to Younghak clinging to him like a child, and when Jinchul tries to nudge him awake, he mumbles something in his sleep and plants a huge, wet kiss on Jinchul's mouth.

An hour of shouting and mouth-rinding later, they swear not to tell a soul and to never, ever do that again. Somehow their new, shared secret turns out to be just the thing to cure them of whatever "tension," as Seunghyun called it, they'd had.




Their little disappearing act causes such a fuss that their schedules are instantly packed, though Jinchul never could understand how losing one night and three quarters of the next day could have such a huge impact. Nonetheless, for the next month they're pushed to their limits such that a few weeks after their MNET Countdown debut, all four end up in the hospital.

On the outside, they're exhausted, over-worked, and have never been in worse condition. On the inside, for the first time in their lives, they feel complete.