qiguai: (中国 // 乔任梁)
The escape of a two-legged bookcase; ([personal profile] qiguai) wrote2012-12-17 09:07 pm

persona (oneshot)

btob, ilhoon/hyunsik, ilhoon/hyunsik/sungjae
nc-17, 3085w, written for [livejournal.com profile] holidayinseoul

Of the three, Ilhoon is the least bothered as he's getting his make-up done, his wig fixed perfectly in place. No, he doesn't particularly enjoy it, but he isn't giggling madly like Sungjae or shifting around in amused discomfort like Donggeun, either. This stunt is bound to boost their show's ratings and, in the end, he knows that's what matters. Besides, as he watches his face transform in the mirror, he finds he kind of likes what he sees.

"What will your name be, hyung?" Sungjae asks with yet another giggle.

Ilhoon turns her head, flips the straight black hair out of her eyes. "Ilsoon," she replies after a moment. Ilhoon grins at Ilsoon in the mirror; their eyes, if nothing else at the moment, are the same, utterly decisive.


Weeks later, Ilhoon catches Sungjae's eye during dinner and grins. Sungjae smiles in return, but in that silly, innocent way that Sungjae smiles at everything. What Ilhoon has planned is far from innocent and he has a feeling Sungjae isn't going to enjoy it, but that isn't important. Sungjae's involvement is only necessary at the beginning, for the shock factor. Beyond that, Ilhoon could care less if the kid runs off screaming, which was all too likely.

That night, Minhyuk and Eunkwang leave the dorm chattering away in their usual nonsensical way while Changseob and Donggeun happily settle in for a night of video games. On any other night, Hyunsik would be heading out with Eunkwang and Minhyuk, never one to skip out on his exercise, but all week Hyunsik had been complaining of headaches and dizziness, until finally their manager had ordered him to take at least one night and sleep. When they'd been ordered to watch Hyunsik carefully, make sure he didn't dare leave bed, Ilhoon knew he couldn't pass up such a wonderful opporunity.

After all, Ilsoon had been waiting for quite a while now.

Changseob shouts something that echoes through their dorm and makes Ilsoon click her tongue in annoyance. In the mirror, she regards herself with a neutral stare. Her hair is pinned carefully in place so it won't shift. Her make-up isn't as good as the stylists at the salon had done it that first time, but Ilhoon's work isn't too bad either. She grumbles a little at the jeans and t-shirt, but holding on to her clothes would have been suspicious. The clothes didn't make the girl anyway.

Behind her, Sungjae shifts on the edge of the tub with a nervous grin. Ilsoon gently adjusts his wig and wipes a smear of lip gloss from his cheek. "Am I pretty?" Sungjae giggles in his fake, high-pitched voice and Ilsoon rolls her eyes. In the end, Sungsook had only been an act. Not like Ilsoon. Ilsoon still isn't sure what she is, nor does it concern her. Ilsoon isn't the kind of girl to get caught up in meaningless details. She's goal-oriented, driven, committed to action, and tonight she is finally going to get her way.

Neither Changseob nor Donggeun so much as glance up as the two of them tiptoe from the bathroom toward the bedroom. Ilsoon shoots them a fond but annoyed glance before she pushes the bedroom door open and nudges Sungjae inside before her.

The soft snores let them know that Hyunsik hasn't detected them just yet. Ilsoon gives the faintest of smiles, her heart pounding a little faster in her chest. Hyunsik is sprawled across Eunkwang's bed on the floor. His mouth hangs open slightly and one arm cradles Sungjae's stupid banana pillow. Even as they step to the edge of the bed, he doesn't stir.

Ilsoon presses a fingers to her lips and motions Sungjae to go around to the other side while she kneels near Hyunsik's feet. Sungjae settles on the bunk behind Hyunsik's head and pokes lightly at Hyunsik's cheek. Thankfully Hyunsik doesn't seem to even feel it in his deep sleep, but Ilsoon resists the urge to smack him for nearly ruining the surprise. "Let me," she mouths to Sungjae and receives a stifled giggle in return.

Amateurs, seriously.

Sungjae seems content to sit there for now, though, so Ilsoon takes the initiative and leans forward to crawl over Hyunsik's sleeping form. His face is so peaceful that she almost feels bad for pressing her cheek against his and whispering in his ear, "Time to wake up." She expects his eyes to fly open, his voice to catch in panic and for everything to become deliciously tense. Instead, those sleepy eyes blink open slowly. Recognition dawns in them first, accompanied by a lazy smile. Hyunsik only seems to notice Ilsoon's unexpected appearance after a full minute of staring into her face. For that entire minute, Ilsoon can't move, can't even breathe.

"They let you keep the wig?" is his question, and he laughs. Ilsoon is the one whose voice catches, and she isn't quite sure how to reply. Yawning, Hyunsik plays with the loose strands of hair hanging in Ilsoon's face. "Didn't hyung make you promise to let me sleep, Ilhoon?"

The question is nothing more than a playful tease, but it sets Ilsoon's teeth on edge. She knocks Hyunsik's hand away and grabs him around the wristing, pinning it against the bed. All he does is blink again, his eyes a little wider maybe. "My name is Ilsoon," she growls. "Ilhoon isn't here." Though she can feel Ilhoon drifting closer to the surface with every brush against Hyunsik's skin.

That seems to amuse Hyunsik. "Sorry, Ilsoon," he replies with his dazzling smile. Ilhoon drifts ever closer, almost demanding control even if this had been his idea from the beginning. Ilsoon fights him, pushes him further down, down where he can hide from that smile and pretend not to see. Ilsoon isn't like Ilhoon; she's strong, she can keep in control even when faced with that smile. She can do something like this and forget it the next day if that's what she wants. And she can protect Ilhoon. In the meantime Hyunsik looks up and spies Sungjae. "Ah, and Sungsook is here, too. Pretty as always." Sungjae practically squeals and hits Hyunsik's shoulder in his affectatious attempt at being girly.

"Sungjae's here to watch," Ilsoon says quietly, her tone wavering in its cold, controlled annoyance. She allows for no misunderstanding, no chance for Hyunsik to believe she and Sungjae are playing the same game. Sungjae thinks this is all some big prank, but Ilsoon knows better.

If Hyunsik notices her annoyance, he doesn't show it. "And what are you here to do?" he asks innocently. Hyunsik thinks this a prank, too. It's all too clear in the way he grins, how he lets Ilsoon hold down his arm even though Hyunsik could knock her off easily.

Ilsoon smirks. "I'm bored and you're available," she lies as she pulls Eunkwang's blanket away from where it'd been half-wrapped around Hyunsik's torso. Warm, tan skin greets her and she almost feels Ilhoon bubbling up all over again. This time it's easier to push him away; their reactions, at least in this, are the same. Releasing Hyunsik's wrist, she runs her hands along Hyunsik's chest and shifts to straddle Hyunsik's lap. His eyes darken as her fingers gently caress his skin. Her faces remains a cold mask.

Taking a deep breath, Hyunsik moves a little, as if to sit up. "Ilhoon, I--"

Ilsoon grabs his shoulders and shoves him back down, possibly a litle rougher than necessary. Hyunsik grunts as he hits the bed again. His hands instinctively fly to Ilsoon's waist and stay there. His grip suggests he could shove her off, but he doesn't. She leans towards him until her face is so close she can feel Hyunsik's breath. "Did you forget?" Her smile and her tone are amused, but there's an icy edge to her voice. "Ilhoon isn't here.."

Ilhoon could never do something like this. If he were in the same position, he would be running at precisely this moment, embarrassed and awkward and trying to pass it all off with a cool comment. Even if it's what he wants, Ilhoon simply can't do it. Ilsoon, however, has no such restrictions. Ilsoon isn't a boy, isn't an idol, and, most of all, isn't in love. She hardly even pauses between speaking and closing the tiny bit of distance between them, her lips pressing hungrily against Hyunsik's.

She hardly has a moment to enjoy the kiss when a far less giggly voice from above is calling her back to reality. "Hyung, I didn't know- I don't think-" Ilsoon sits back up abruptly and cuts Sungjae off with a glare.

"Either make yourself useful and hold his arms, or go sit on Minhyuk's bed like a good little boy," she mutters. She doesn't bother to wait and see what Sungjae chooses and returns her attention to Hyunsik. At the very least, the dazed look in his eyes and the way he licks his lips when she looks at him suggest he's far from amused. She gives him another kiss, lighter this time, and isn't surprised when she hears Sungjae move out of Changseob's bunk. She's even less surprised when she hers the springs creak across the room. She knows obedience has very little to do with Sungjae's behavior; she would have had to have been blind not to see the curiosity in Sungjae's in his eyes even as he'd been suggesting they should stop.

Back to more important things. Hyunsik stares up at her with what she swears is awe, and it sets her stomach fluttering in a way she'd never admit. If only things could be this easy for Ilhoon, she thinks. Ilhoon would never - could never - smirk with Hyunsik beneath him like this, shift his hips so slightly in a way that makes Hyunsik's hands tighten on his hips almost painfully, or go back in and run his fingers through Hyunsik's messy hair as they kiss again, this time Hyunsik returning it just as fiercely. Ilhoon would never, but Ilsoon does. She breaks the kiss only to trail lighter ones along Hyunsik's jaw. Beneath her, Hyunsik tenses and relaxes sporadically, as if still deciding how to react to all of this. Ilsoon doesn't care; she moves to Hyunsik's neck and nips at the skin. This time Hyunsik moans and Ilsoon shudders at the hoarse, low sound. She runs her hands back down Hyunsik's chest and this time lets herself enjoy the hard muscles tensing beneath her fingers. She sucks on Hyunsik's throat and only stops her wandering fingers when they find Hyunsik's waistband. They dip beneath the elastic of his sweatpants and Hyunsik inhales sharply.

Now Ilhoon is clawing at her, begging for her to stop before things go further, from where they can't possibly return. Unfortunately for Ilhoon, Ilsoon is tired of the games. Tired of Ilhoon being so timid. Tired of the aching in her chest which is a mere echo of what Ilhoon feels on a daily basis. Ilsoon exists so Ilhoon can pretend this isn't what he wants, but she knows better. This is so easy for her only because she lacks the feelings Ilhoon so desperately chooses to deny.

She yanks down Hyunsik's pants without so much as blinking at all of the beautiful exposed flesh. She - no, Ilhoon - has known for some time that Hyunsik sees no point in sleeping with his boxers. Living together leaves little chance to miss noticing something like that, especially whe Ilhoon pays such close attention. Hyunsik flushes and starts to say something, but all he does is gasp and curse when Ilsoon wraps a hand around his cock with so little hesitation she surprises even herself. Hyunsik's flesh is hot to the touch in her hand as she strokes him slowly at first. His eyes squeeze closed and his hips rise off the mattress slightly with every movement. Ilsoon bites her lip and moves a little faster, fascinated.

Suddenly she flops forward as Hyunsik's arms wrap around her. He drags her into another kiss, this one sloppy and needy. "You have no idea how much I've wanted this," he mumbles against Ilsoon's lips. She pulls away but Hyunsik's doesn't seem to mind, arching a little into her touch. "Ilhoon, I-" This time she doesn't bother to correct him. Instead she moves further down and presses her lips to the tip of Hyunsik's cock before taking him as far into her mouth as she can. Hyunsik can't even manage a curse this time. His mouth snaps shut in a barely audible hiss and his entire body tenses.

She doesn't exactly know what she's doing, but she chooses not to overthink it, bobbing her head while she continues to move her hand as well. Hyunsik's hips still rise seemingly on their own every time she takes him deep, which urges her to try a little more. When he bumps against the back of herr throat she nearly gags, but manages to resist as he slides back out effortlessly. His hands tangle in her wig and she knows it must be all askew, but she can worry about that later.

"Ilhoon." The moaned name makes him - no, her - groan around Hyunsik's length and suck as she moves a little faster. Her cheeks feel warm and every sound she earns from Hyunsik makes her control slip a little more. She feels bold, bold and strong even when her heart's beating so wildly in her chest. Her teeth graze against Hyunsik's skin and he lets out a louder curse. She pulls back to warn him to be quieter, but he sits up and grabs her before she can get the words out. Hyunsik grabs the wig off her head and sends it flying towards where Sungjae had been sitting in Minhyuk's bed. It's only then she realizes the boy is gone, crept out no doubt when it got to be too much for him.

Hyunsik doesn't stop at the wig, and pulls Ilhoon into his lap. Ilhoon's not nearly as bold as Ilsoon, and he finds himself blushing terribly as Hyunsik kisses him. His hands press against Hyunsik's chest uselessly. He doesn't dare make a move, but he can't help but press a little into the kiss. Then Hyunsik's hands are on him, pushing him up to kneel so Hyunsik can pull down his jeans and Ihoon has just enough awareness to kick them off, as well as his boxers when Hyunsik decides those need to go, too. Ilhoon can't quite manage to process everything, but he doesn't argue when Hyunsik kisses him again. Maybe he's in shock; it's like his mind as short-circuited and can't get itself working again.

But then Hyunsik's hand wraps around him and Ilhoon moans into Hyunsik's mouth. His hands shake as his arms snake around Hyunsik's neck, wanting to be close. Hyunsik's hand is as sure as Ilsoon's, maybe even moreso. Ilhoon whimpers against Hyunsik's neck and can't believe how pathetic he sounds.

Only the light kisses against the side of his face make Ilhoon open his eyes again. Hyunsik beams and Ilhoon's blush worsens, but he can't pull away now. For a second Hyunsik's hand pauses and then Hyunsik's length moves to rub against Ilhoon's, and somehow the feeling is even more intense when Ilhoon couldn't have imagined it possible. Ilhoon thrusts a little against Hyunsik and groans as Hyunsik hand wraps around both of them, stroking just as confidently and far too quickly for Ilhoon to handle.

"I can't-" he begins and Hyunsik must have sensed it, because he quickens his pace and squeezes just a little and it sends Ilhoon over the edge, crying out. Hyunsik isn't far behind, though Ilhoon is embarrassed at how much quieter Hyunsik's grunt is comparatively.

The silence that follows gives Ilhoon enough time to realize how wrongly this had turned out. He wants Ilsoon, but the wig is somewhere across the room and Hyunsik is here, so close Ilhoon can feel his heart beating beneath that warm skin. Hyunsik finds a discarded towel beneath Changseob's bed and wipes them clean. His hair is damp with sweat and stuck to his forehead. He rests his forehead against Ilhoon's a moment and Ilhoon can feel the heat of the fever.

"You should rest," he says weakly, and is proud that he manages to pull himself away. Hyunsik almost looks like he's going to argue, but he falls back onto the mattress again. Ilhoon feels guilty for being grateful for Hyunsik's sickness, but it's probably the only thing which could make him rise out of the bed, find his clothes and slip out of the room. The last thing he grabs is the wig.


Ilhoon hums to himself and watches the bacon dance in the frying pan. The smell makes his stomach growl and he flips the pieces impatiently. Sungjae glances at him and Ilhoon flips another piece, not looking up. His friend pauses, shrugs, and wanders away to where Donggeun is watching television in the living room. Sungjae isn't going to be a problem; Ilhoon had known as much when he got the kid involved.

If only that were true for everything. Ilhoon tenses as arms wrap around him from behind. He knows he'll be able to recognize the feel of those arms for the rest of his life. "Hyung, you know I hate skinship," he scolds in his usual mocking voice. Behind him, Hyunsik pauses. Ilhoon turns his head slightly and smirks. He pretends not to notice the hurt confusion in Hyunsik's eyes, and returns to watching his bacon. After a few moments, Hyunsik retreats. Ilhoon doesn't watch to see where he goes.


That afternoon, Ilhoon bundles into his winter coat and grabs the bulging plastic bag of trash before heading outside. No one questions why he's suddenly being so helpful. It's been so cold lately that none of them want to take the trash to the dumpster outside their bulding. His breath crystalizes in the air and he pulls the hood up over his head awkwardly with his free hand.

Tossing the bag into the dumpster, Ilhoon reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out the wig. The hair is all messed up and there may even be some clumps missing from where Hyunsik had grabbed it so roughly. Ilhoon pets the hair affectionately before he tosses it in after the bag.

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