secrets are for keeping (oneshot)

[qiguai]

Title: Secrets are for Keeping
Pairing: Chanyang/Hanbi
Genre: fluff, romance
Word Count: 1786
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Summary: Hanbi knows something that Minchul and Joon don't, and that's special.

The worst part about being the new member, Hanbi thinks, is how clueless he feels around his hyungs. Joon and Minchul have been together so long, sometimes they only have to look at each other and they know exactly what the other is thinking. They communicate naturally and Hanbi's countless stumbles during their conversations are like giant, unforseen speedbumps in an otherwise perfectly smooth road. Neither Minchul nor Joon mind and they both make a great effort to make their communication Hanbi-friendly, but now and then little inside jokes slip in, or brief interludes during which it's obvious they're saying something Hanbi will never completely understand. So when Hanbi discovers a secret- a big scandal, maybe, he notes gleefully- he keeps it hidden, just for himself. This secret is the one thing only Hanbi has amongst his hyungs, and he swears from the moment of his discovery that he will never, ever tell Minchul or Joon. The root of his secret is Chanyang. Though also a new member, Chanyang doesn't seem to mind how hard it is to fit in with Minchul and Joon. When everyone's joking around, he just laughs, maybe throws in a line or two, but doesn't get very involved. He stays off to the side and shows none of the frustration which Hanbi feels when they're in a group. For this reason, Hanbi decides to stay close to Chanyang- maybe, if he tried, he could relax a little, too, and not take everything so personally. It happens that they're placed in the same room in the dorms, and when they're alone Hanbi enjoys how they, too, can be close, without the awkward feeling of knowing they're not as close as Minchul and Joon. Chanyang makes fun of Hanbi's magazines and anime figurines, Hanbi makes fun of Chanyang's lack of metabolism and giant head. It works. Over time, though, Hanbi starts to learn how to read Chanyang and his quiet moods. Truthfully, without this kind of daily observation, no one would be able to tell the difference between happy Chanyang, sad Chanyang, mad Chanyang. He doesn't hide his emotions, he just doesn't feel the need to express them. But one day while they're preparing to head out to practice Hanbi sneaks up behind Chanyang and grabs him around the stomach, and Chanyang lets out a noise that Hanbi can only describe as a girly squeal. "Hyung?" Hanbi lets his arms drop and Chanyang's panting, red-faced. "You okay?"All he gets is a nod and Chanyang leaves the room mumbling something about needing to talk to a manager. "What'd you do to him?" Joon asks during practice after pulling Hanbi to the side. Behind them, Chanyang apologizes to their dance intructor for the tenth time in half an hour and attempts the move again. "I didn't do anything!" he answers in a frustrated whisper, running a hand through his sweaty hair. He watches as Chanyang finally proves to the instructor that he can do the move, then they're called back to try again as a group. The music plays, they start dancing, and ten seconds in the instructor makes them stop. Minchul throws up his hands in a silent curse as Chanyang is taken aside again. Minchul and Joon soon forget about that practice session, but Hanbi can't, because Chanyang never tells him what happened and, even worse, tries to pretend as if nothing happened at all. Consumed by his curiosity, Hanbi devotes himself to discovering whatever it is his hyung is hiding, and he's got a fairly good lead from the beginning. Obviously it has something to do with Hanbi touching him, so he takes the most logical next step- touch Chanyang as much as possible. His first attempts end in failure. He tries recreating that first strange scene, but something is different. Chanyang chuckles and nudges Hanbi's arms away when he grabs the older boy just as he moves forward to pick out a movie. As the beginning credits start scrolling across the screen, Hanbi concludes that he needs to be more original. He needs to catch Chanyang off-guard. Doing so turns out to be much, much easier than Hanbi anticipates. Another thing about Chanyang is that he's gullible and trusting to a fault, so when Hanbi innocently asks Chanyang to check their fancafe, he does so, and is completely unprepared when Hanbi leans over him and rests his head on Chanyang's shoulder. Much to Hanbi's disappointment, there are no squeals or sounds at all, but he feels Chanyang's back tense through his t-shirt and his voice is suddenly very high-pitched and squeaky. "Watch it," is all he manages to say, and Hanbi rubs his cheek against Chanyang's shoulder a few times. Chanyang forces a laugh and continues to stare at the screen, but Hanbi notices his mouse moving sporadically, clicking on the wrong things, forcing him to hit the back button, and he mistypes his name and password so many times Hanbi loses count. By the time they manage to login and check the number, Hanbi is perfectly satsfied and it has nothing to do with the number on their fancafe. Within a few days, Hanbi decides that this game, his secret, is far too much fun to share with his hyungs. When they're around Minchul and Joon, he can go to high-five Chanyang, but keep hold of the other's hand just a bit too long and make him too distracted to keep with the conversation. Hanbi continues as normal, and Minchul jabs at Chanyang for being such a space-case. On late nights when they gather in the older boys' room to watch movies, Hanbi can pretend to fall asleep against Chanyang's shoulder and listen to him stumble over his words as he tries to carry on as if nothing's bothering him. Only Hanbi can make Chanyang act like this, and only Hanbi knows he can make Chanyang act like this. The fact that no one else knows, not even Chanyang, makes Hanbi all the more determined to exploit it. Secretly, of course. "Hyung, I'm hungry." Chanyang is standing at the sink in their kitchen, gaping at Hanbi because they ate dinner two hours ago. Unfortunately for him, Hanbi has managed to extend what he likes to call his 'Chanyang Mind Control' powers to work even when they're not touching. He cocks his head and frowns when Chanyang shakes his head. "Hyung," he whines, but the corners of his lips pull up into a smile. "Please?" "If you gain weight and get yelled at, it's not my fault," is Chanyang's reply as trudges to the fridge and pulls out something frozen. A little too gleefully, Hanbi cheers and grabs the other around the waist, swinging him gently. "You're the best!" The sigh that he gets in return surprises him. Chanyang doesn't move to escape the magnae's grasp, but shoves whatever he'd grabbed into the microwave. "You've figured it out, haven't you?" he asks without turning around. "Figured out what?" He releases Chanyang and he turns around, crossing his arms as he leans against the counter. "Stop messing with me, Hanbi." Chanyang's voice is quiet- it always is- but his tone is so serious it makes Hanbi flush. Did he do something wrong? "And stop acting like you don't know what I'm talking about. You're always touching me, laughing at me and thinking I don't notice." "I just thought it was funny the way you reacted, hyung, I-" "And it never occurred to you there might be a reason I react that way?" Chanyang laughs just a bit bitterly. When Hanbi doesn't answer, but stands with his mouth hanging open for a good two minutes, Chanyang moves around him and leaves the kitchen. Nope, it had never occurred to him. Never before has Hanbi been nervous about going to sleep, but he supposes this is what happens when you live with someone and share the same bed. Fight makes things a little awkward. Chanyang hasn't said a word since their incident in the kitchen, and Hanbi isn't used to being ignored like this. All he wants to do is hug the older boy and say he's sorry, but something tells him he's done something really, really bad. His heart starts beating wildly when Chanyang enters, already changed, and Hanbi wants to say something. He changes without looking at the other, feeling self-conscious and guilty and all these weird little things that he doesn't like feeling when he doesn't know what he's done wrong. Something brushes his head and he looks up to find Chanyang standing beside him, apparently attempting to pat Hanbi and failing because he's not quite sure how to go about it. The breath Hanbi's been holding escapes all at once in a short laugh, and without thinking he pulls Chanyang into the hug he'd felt the urge to initiate from the beginning. Chanyang returns the hug with his usually hesitation, and it's only when Chanyang's hands rest on his waist does Hanbi realize what's wrong. "Hyung," he says, a small smile growing on his face. "Do you love me?" Chanyang promptly turns and heads for bed and Hanbi's never seen the older boy move so quickly. Before he can stop him, Chanyang is covered from head to toe with blanket, his hands gripping it above his head. Hanbi bounces into the bed and shoves at Chanyang gently, then harder until the older boy's rolling back and forth. "Hyung, tell me!" But Chanyang refuses to lift the cover or speak, so Hanbi settles down on the inside of the bed with a satisfied sigh. After a few minutes, Chanyang lowers the blanket and rolls over to face away from Hanbi, who is more than happy to take advantage of the opportunity offered. He scoots closer until he's against Chanyang's back and wraps an arm around the other boy. He presses his face into the back of Chanyang's neck and whispers over and over, "Who do you love? Huh, hyung, who? Tell me!" Chanyang doesn't reply, but doesn't shove Hanbi away either. When Hanbi finally gives up questioning, he stays in the same position and closes his eyes. "Should I tell Minchul-hyung and Joon-hyung?" he asks in a sing-song voice and Chanyang's back tenses. With a happy laugh, Hanbi squeezes Chanyang tighter until he relaxes. He's not sure if he should move away now, but he doesn't particularly want to. Soon Chanyang is snoring, and he takes that as a sign he doesn't need to. He closes his eyes and rests his forehead against Chanyang's back until he, too, drifts off. Chanyang doesn't have to worry, because this is a secret Hanbi will greedily keep to himself, and cherish, for as long as he can.