You're my first (oneshot)

[qiguai]

Title: You're my first
Pairing: Kevin/Kibum, slight Soohyun/Kevin
Word Count: 1110
Rating: R
Warnings: character death, violence, gore, suggestive situations
Summary: Heartbeats are what Kevin understands best.
Notes: Filled drabble meme request for zenfu that turned out to be a bit more than a drabble. Inspired by Jennifer's Body, but can be taken any way the reader wishes. This is why I shouldn't write Kemaru.

The gym is cast in monochromatic shades, the moon through the high windows providing an eerie light. The metal bleachers feel cold through Kevin's jeans as his knee bounces in agitation. He checks his watch and with an exhilarated rush realizes it's time. His hands are shaking and he brings them up to feel his hot, flushed face and fix his hair, which usually is never so disheveled. The weakness his feels in his limbs and his heightened nerves are all in reaction to his waiting so long. He never lets himself get this bad, but the past few weeks have been anything but ordinary. A chill snakes down his spine at the first squeak of sneakers against the court floor. When he gets to his feet, he's all instincts as he watches, hears, smells and even feels the other boy approach him. Soohyun is completely unsuspecting as he steps up to Kevin and puts his hands on his shoulders, concern written on his features. "Are you okay?" he asks immediately. Kevin lets his gaze slip downward, to the side, and he nods just a little as if unsure. "I'm sorry I took so long." "It's my fault for calling you out so late," Kevin replies in his smallest voice. Soohyun's hands on his shoulders tighten and the slight pain causes white sparks to dance across Kevin's vision. He takes a deep breath, on the outside appearing exhausted, but really it's the only thing keeping him from moaning. His eyes are shining with tears when he turns them back to Soohyun. "You're the only one I can count on, hyung." The way his voice cracks when he whimpers hyung is desperate and heart-breaking and just a little bit dirty. Soohyun pulls him into a tight hug, whispering 'It'll be okay, I promise,' but the heat of his skin and his racing heart tell Kevin a different story. He presses his cheek against Soohyun chest and relishes the quick throbbing echo that's for him alone. As Soohyun's whispers start to fade away, Kevin's arms press them closer together and his lips curve into an amused smile. "Kevin," Soohyun chokes, but Kevin isn't listening. He rests his head on Soohyun's shoulder and traces Soohyun's neck with his fingers. The pulse steadily beating beneath his fingers is singular and perfect. He almost wants to fall asleep to it, but as he presses his lips against the beautifully rhythmic vein he remembers how much more beautiful that blood will be splattered across the floor. And it does. The pools of crimson shining in the moonlight dazzle Kevin's eyes better than any diamond. Wide puddles of blood are accented by arching, savage smears of handprints from where Soohyun had tried to struggle away, and one especially massive smear is a stunning reminder of how Kevin had wrapped his long fingers around Soohyun's neck and finally put the poor boy out of his misery. With a shudder he remembers how his palms had dug into the hot, torn flesh where Soohyun's neck met his shoulder, the shocked look of excruciating pain in Soohyun's eyes as he'd squeezed harder and harder until those eyes had finally closed. His hands are still stained with the blood that had gushed from the wound after he'd removed his hands from that trusting neck. Now the poor boy is steadily disappearing in the sea of red. The slash across his neck is no longer visible through the blood, and the ones across his chest are beginning to blend in as well as his clothing and skin all take on that gorgeous hue. Out of respect Kevin presses Soohyun's eyelids closed and simultaneously paints those red as well. Crouching over the body, he runs his fingers along Soohyun's soft, clean face until it's completely coated. Kevin rocks on his heels and stares at what he's created. He rubs at his face, suddenly exhausted, and doesn't mind the smears he leaves behind. Tonight had been even easier than the others. He almost felt bad for taking advantage of the one person whose trust he was most sure of. Almost. But time is of the essence, and he knows he needs to start cleaning up if he's going to be done by the time the janitors arrive. Taking one last look at his masterpiece, he sighs and mutters, "Such a waste." He returns to the bleachers and digs out the supplies he'd hidden there earlier. As he shakes open a garbage bag, something moves near the opposite end of the gym. He straightens up slowly, carefully, fully prepared to spring at the first sign of trouble. "Kevin," the figure says in a scolding way that is all too familiar. In a flash, Kevin is at Kibum's side, and Kibum doesn't even seem surprised at Kevin's inhuman speed. A sharp intake of breath is the only indication he gives that he knows something is different. Wrong. "You shouldn't be here," Kevin breathes. Kibum ignores him and gazes over Kevin's shoulder, exactly where Kevin doesn't want him to look. He waits for the look of horror, the scream that would follow and signal to Kevin that this is it, Kibum's turn, when Kibum was never supposed to have a turn in the first place. But Kibum's expression is utterly blank and Kevin isn't sure what that means for him. "Soohyun was a good person, Kevin," Kibum mumbles with a scrutinizing gaze that makes Kevin feel likes he's back in grade school. Then he smirks. "Or maybe that doesn't matter? It's probably silly to assume that only bad people end up like that, huh?" He looks sheepish and Kevin couldn't be more confused. "Are you going to kill me?" he asks in a low tone, and for the first time Kevin senses his fear. Rolling his shoulders, the comforting, familiar smell of fear reminds him of what he is, where they are, and all of their possibilities. Kibum flinches as Kevin wraps his arms around his neck with a smile. He leaves blood smears behind on Kibum's clean t-shirt and where he brushes against Kibum's neck. "Do you think I should?" he asks against Kibum's ear. Kibum is tense in Kevin's arms and doesn't answer, but Kevin doesn't expect an answer. Instead Kibum presses his hands against the small of Kevin's back and draws him closer, breathing heavily into Kevin's hair and dirty skin. Kibum's pounding heart against Kevin's chest fills Kevin with an ecstatic thrill which is familiar and yet unlike every other heartbeat Kevin's ever known. Only when he's with Kibum does he think it's so good to be alive, even as he is.